Who're you lookin' at?

Here I am wearing boxing gloves. Mommy put them on my hands after I scratched my face (see photo). A better idea might be to buy me new nail clippers! I'm glad my Mommy handled the situation. My Daddy would have left my hands free, but put a sack over my head!

As long as they don't declaw me I'll be happy.


Million Dollar Baby (click on picture to see scratch)

Midnight snack

In this picture I'm having my favourite midnight snack- Milk&Cookies (without the cookies). Since I was hungry, and my tummy's feeling better, I decided to call room service. They have 24 hour service here, so I got fed right away. I would recommend this place to other celebrities like myself, except for the annoying papparazi. Sometimes my pictures even show up on the web! I'd call my lawyer, but I can't talk yet.

As you can see in the photo, my Mommy has 'Winnie the Poo' all over her pajamas. Sometimes I have Poo all over my pajamas! Just like my Mommy!


"Winnie the Poo Pajamas" (click on photo to see a big poo)

Tummy ache

My tummy ache came back! In this picture, I'm explaining this to my parents. Apparently, I have a lot of gas (just like my Daddy)!

My Mommy was worried 'cause my poop was all green. We went to the doctor and he said It might be something she ate. Maybe she shouldn't eat 'Green Eggs&Ham'. (I wonder if that was Doctor Seuss!)


My tummy hurts!

My 'Daddy Bed'

Here I am on my favourite bed. It's not a futon, it's a daddy. I usually sleep there when I get a tummy ache. Since my tummy hurt last night, I decided to lay on my daddy bed. I fell asleep right away. Maybe because daddy's tummy is so soft, or maybe because I threw up all over him. Either way, I felt better afterwards. I think I'll share my meals with Daddy more often.


Putting Daddy to sleep

Going to the doctor

Today I took my Mommy to the doctor. The appointment was for her, not me. I had to go too because she breastfeeds me every 10 minutes. If Mommy left me for more than 2 hours, I'm afraid her breasts would fill up and explode.

Here I'm resting up for the big trip. See how much better the car seat fits (see March 19 picture). I hope I grow as big as my Daddy. (Perhaps I should set my goals higher).


Attached to a catapult

Daddy breastfeeding

In this picture my Daddy is trying to breastfeed me. I hope I don't grow up confused like my Daddy. He didn't like my comments about his useless breasts so he bought this stupid 'breast bottle'. I wonder if he bought the rest of the doll.


Looking up in confusion (click on picture for bigger breast)

My fancy new mobile/monitor

This is me with my fancy new 'mobile'. That's the weird red thing in the corner. Mommy&Daddy hung it in my cell yesterday. It makes weird sounds and tracks my movements. It must be some sort of early warning system to keep me from escaping. They've even got a 'baby monitor' eavesdropping on my conversations with myself. What's next, guards at the door?

In this picture you see me staring at the box it came in. It's such a beautiful box, I wish I could play with it. Instead I'm trapped in my cell being guarded by a mobile. It's enough to make me scream.


Planning my escape

My Middle Brother

This is my middle brother Jason (the one on the left). You've already seen a picture of my oldest brother Andy (March 30th Blog "My Big Brother"). Jason used to be the youngest child, but I took that position when he wasn't looking. He's not happy because he liked being the youngest child. The youngest child gets all the attention.

Unlike most 'middle children', Jason's really cool. If he ever gets screwed up, he should blame his parents. As for me, Mommy & Daddy are always on their best behaviour. Because they know if they're not, I'm going to write about it in my blog! (hee hee hee)


Staring contest with my brother

Bouncing baby boy

Grandma's gone now so I have to put my other staff to work. I haven't figured out what my Daddy is good for yet. Neither has my Mommy.

I like when my Daddy carries me. I sometimes get nervous because I've seen him drop dishes and stuff. He even falls while jogging (see April 18 Blog). Maybe I'll have someone else carry me.


Getting support from Daddy

Grandma's last night

In these pictures I'm sleeping with Grandma. I'm a little sad because tomorrow she's going home to Japan. Since tonight is her last night, I've decided to stay up the whole night. I'm sure my Mommy will understand.

This was a very busy month for me. Besides being born (don't ask!), I had to keep Grandma busy the whole time! It was a big responsibility, but someone had to do it. I had her do lots of things for me, like change my diaper (every 10 minutes). Or burp me after eating (just like my Daddy). Or get my Mammary (I mean Mommy).

Grandma did an excellent job, she was a very fast learner. I hope she checks this Blog everyday, just in case another job opportunity comes along.


Keeping Grandma busy (click for full size image)

Bullseye!

In this picture Grandma is changing my diaper. She does that about 125 times every day. The only time she isn't changing my diaper, is when Mommy is feeding me. I like diaper changes because I get to do my favourite sport- PEEING. I'm really good at that. Usually I wait until my diaper is off before I aim. So far, I've hit everything in my room. I've hit my mirror at least 5 times. You've already seen me pee at the doctor (see April 12 blog). In fact, I've hit everyone I know, including myself (I hit my own head)! Mommy was impressed with that.

Of all my targets, however, I'm most proud of one. Grandma! The other day, when she was changing my diaper, I got a direct hit- in her mouth! I knew I hit a bullseye because I heard her scream. My Mommy thought it was funny because she laughed really hard. She laughed so hard I think she pee'd in her pants. Just like me!


Looking for targets

My favourite chair (1st month)

Here I am in my favourite chair. Actually, it's my only chair. My Daddy will be taking a picture of me in it every month until I'm all grown up. Personally, I think my Daddy should get a life. Maybe when I'm all grown up, I'll put my Daddy in the chair and take a picture of him every month until he's all shrunk down.

The picture on the left was taken when I was just 3 days old. I was just a baby then. As you can see I'm a lot bigger now. I like growing. It makes my clothes fit better.


Here I grow! (click on picture for full size image)

Happy birthday to me!

Wow what a party! I'm over 30 days old today, although I don't feel a day over 29! Daddy took lots of pictures (for a change) while Mommy treated me to a 'happy meal'. Then Grandma took me swimming again (I love baths. I've taken over 500 so far)!

Yesterday I took my parents for a long walk. My Daddy took us to the path where he goes jogging. I'm glad he wasn't carrying me because yesterday he fell down a hill and cut his hand. I'll make sure he's not the one who teaches me to walk.

So far, I like life. I get to eat as much as I want and sleep whenever I want. I've got a staff who cater to my every whim. I've only been here a month, but I think I'll stay.


Already one month old! (click on picture to enlarge)

A typical night

Last night was a typical night. I was hungry so I called my Mommy every 2 hours. I would have called my Daddy, but his breasts are useless. Here I am resting between feedings. Mommy's resting with me. She gave up on going back to bed. Sleeping is for sissies.


Waiting for a refill

After my bath

Here I am after my bath. I'm tired so I'm pretending to be asleep. I never actually fall asleep, I just rest between feedings. In this picture I'm still wrapped in my bath towels. That means I'm not wearing a diaper. Hee hee hee


Wrapped in towels

Pooping in the sink

Here I am pooping in the sink. My face is red and my hands are clenched, which means it's a good poop. Grandma screams when my poop floats to the top. That's my cue to start peeing. I've sprayed everyone in my family so far. Except Grandpa. I can't wait 'til he visits me.


AAAAAaaaahhhhhhh....

Well rounded

This is me. Notice how fat I'm getting. It's not easy getting fat. It takes a lot of eating to do that. Just ask the rest of my family.

I like my Mommy's cooking. I'm just kidding, she doesn't cook. She just sticks her breast in my face and calls it a meal. I don't mind though, I like her breasts. So does my Daddy.


Oh boy! Here comes Mommy!

My feet

These are my feet. I'm not sure what they're used for yet. I like to kick them back and forth when I'm hungry. It works best when I do this while screaming. I get fed pretty fast when I do that.

They're also used to change diapers. My feet are the first things they grab when I poop. They always lift my bum in the air, then they take off my diaper. As soon as it's off, I pee. Every time! Grown ups never learn.


A bunch of toes (I can't count yet)

A visit to the doctor

I had fun at the doctor yesterday. When he wasn't looking, I pee'd on his scale! (see picture below). Serves him right for having such cold hands!

The doctor was surprised at how much weight I gained- 2 pounds in 2 weeks! That mean's I gain 1 pound every week. Just like my Uncle Ronnie! I guess next year at this time I'll weigh over 60 pounds!


Who're you calling fat? (8lbs, 5oz)

Taking a nap

Today's going to be another busy day. I'll be visiting the doctor for a 'checkup'. The last time I saw him he said I was 'cute'. My Daddy think's my Mom is 'cute', so I must look like her. Except for the nose. And the ears. And the receding hairline.

All this wondering is making me tired. I think I'll take a nap.


Naptime

My Day Off

I love Sundays. I get the whole day off!

It's not easy being a baby. I'm responsible for a LOT of people (Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and other helpers). I have to keep them busy ALL DAY. It's hard work! Sometimes they slack off, so I have to scream! I feel bad about this but it's for their own good.

Since it's Sunday, I'll give them a day off too.


Resting up for tonight

Walking Mom & Dad

I just got back from my walk. Boy am I tired! My Daddy pushed me the whole time! When I get bigger, I'm going to push my Daddy in his stroller. I think he calls it a wheelchair.


Another busy day

Finally asleep!

WOW, that was great formula! Daddy should feed me more often. (hiccup)


Nap time. (whew!)

The Great Communicator

"Wake up everyone! We've got a loooong day ahead of us!!"


Between diaper changes & feedings
(Time 3:00am)

Headlock

Nice grip Grandma! But it won't keep me from pooping!


How much longer 'til lunch?

Dinnertime!

Alright, I've slept long enough! (30 minutes). It's time to eat! (again). Gotta wave my hands to get Mommy's attention! Or maybe I'll just scream!


Oh boy, Boobies!

Sleeping like a baby

My Mommy slept like a baby last night. She was up every 2 hours crying. Here I am taking a very short nap between feedings. Just thinking about it is making me hungry.


Taking a very short nap

Another bath!

Can you believe this is my third bath since yesterday!! I outdid myself by peeing on my own head! As my Daddy likes to say, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on". Unless it leads to more baths.


Another bath!!

Splish splash

I love bathtime! Whenever I want one, I just pee and poop all over myself, then suddenly I'm in the bath! Simple!


Splash splash

Got milk?

I love these midnight snacks. I don't think Mommy does, she always tired. Oh well, it's feeding time!


MMMmmmmmmmnnnn..